TOTAL HONESTY IN RELATIONSHIPS

I've heard a lot of people say if their partners love them, they won't bother about knowing things that happened in the past. And I've observed that most at times, people who say such things have done some stuff they're ashamed of and want to look for a reason to avoid talking about their past experiences... I thought about it and this is what I came up with:

Many of us hide our pasts from the people we love, claiming if they love us, our past won't matter. Who drowned you in such fallacy? Your past can actually entangle the people who truly love and care for you, so your past is actually their business also. Don't be cynical. Look at it from the other perspective - If you love them, you won't keep any secrets from them. Some secrets are so dark, they could cause more cataclysmic consequences if your loved one finds out about them from a source other than your lips. Sometimes people could blackmail you, or threaten to destroy your relationship by spilling the forbidden beans. And if they succeed, they'll end up really hurting the one you love. But if you've already been open about your secret, those threatening you will have zero leverage over you because your honesty has already taken away the power of the information they have. That's right. Being repentant and honest neutralizes the potency of dark secrets, so that they can't come back to haunt you; yes, and blackmailers will only be shooting blanks whenever they try.

If you love them, let them know. And if the love they have for you is that strong, it'll overcome the content of your confession - o well, to be fair, sometimes they may love you to the core but your secret may lead to certain complications that may end your relationship; that doesn't mean they didn't love you, it may just mean they're not meant for you, in which case, separation would be a good thing, even if you don't see it at the moment. Anyway, regardless of the outcome of your revelation, being sincere is honourable, and depicts integrity. If you really love someone, you'll be explicitly and lucidly transparent with them even if telling the grim truth will be at your own peril. Don't make up convenient excuses such as the "if you love me, you'll let the past be in the past so we can build a happy future together" bullocks. That part about leaving the past in the past isn't yours to decide because like I said, what you did before could later have dire consequences on others, even more than you can imagine. Thus, your part is to be candid with each other, and if it's meant to be, it'll be. If you can't do this, then stay alone! Don't surge into a relationship, dragging innocent people into a dark world of deceit. Bear in mind that lying isn't just an intentional misrepresentation of facts, or the deliberate dissemination of false information; concealing the truth from people who deserve it is also a form of deception and lying. And these are catastrophic materials to use in laying the foundation of your relationship.

Just for emphasis: If you love'em, tell'em! And most importantly, pray about it so that God can intervene. If you've repented from whatever it is you're hiding or ashamed of, God will definitely create a path for you; one that'll certainly prevent your past from tormenting you, or interfering with your present and future.

Now go man-up, strap on a pair and be straight with each other! Regardless of the outcome, you'll be fine and free eventually.