GOOD PARENTING

This is something I strongly feel every parent should see, so if you're not a parent, you'll do mighty good by sharing with at least one. And if you're a potential parent, there are certain vital things you ought to know before you begin the miracle of childbirth; I've stated a couple below. Enjoy the read:

Every human being possesses some degree of light and darkness - good and bad attributes. But unfortunately, so many African parents are so observant and particular of the darkness in their kids that they don't seem to notice the light in these young souls no matter how huge or tiny the glimmer. And it's this obsession with children's shortcomings that has made it a routine for parents to punish their children heavily, scold them like they're depraved animals, and beat the hell out of them at the slightest provocation. Many parents have also become veterans at repeating their children's mistakes from dusk till dawn. They even tell others about their kid's flaws, while saying so little to nothing about the good their children strive to do - that's destructive! Honestly, sometimes it seems like these innocent kids are being condemned by their imperfections - if you're not like Mrs. James' son, then you're useless. They forget that Mrs. James' son has his own flaws and impediments. But how will they know since they only view him from afar? Hence, such parents groom children with low self-esteem and no sense of belonging. Then the journey to hades ensues: their children begin an ominous trip down a destructive path. They grow up believing they're nothing and are incapable of any good. They join bad company in an attempt to belong. And of course, their parents will be by the sidelines doing what they've always known how to do best - point fingers while uttering terrifying words. They refute the fact that part of the reason these kids are the way they are is merely as a result of bad parenting.

Now hear this: darkness is the absence of light. What does that tell you? This fact is proof of how powerful light is. You cannot walk into a room and turn darkness on or off; there's no such thing. But you can turn light on and off at will. It means whenever and wherever light reveals itself, darkness must flee. And the degree of light determines the degree of darkness. Therefore, darkness is powerless; light rules it! I think if parents are aware of this, they'll strive to discern the good in their children, no matter how minute it is. And when they notice it, they'll do all within their power to make sure they harness that little flicker till it grows and grows and becomes as visible and radiant as the sun. If you can do this for your wards, they'll never forget your impact in their lives. They'll always remember how you nurtured and grew the light that eventually curbed the darkness that dwelled in them.

Did I hear someone say parenting is hard? Well, of course it is! I know it's the most difficult job in the world, but that isn't an excuse for complacency. There's much more to parenting than providing food and shelter. Many children have been slaves under a roof, and with food in their stomachs. Therefore from today, learn to connect with your children. Talk to them. Understand their difficulties, weaknesses, and strengths. If you're lost as to what to do at any given time, just ask them how you can be of help to them - healthy communication is very effective. Okay?

In a nutshell, if you care about your kids, correct them with love. Love is the most effective weapon against any form of negativity. Raising your voice all the time and being so harsh will only succeed in pushing them farther away from you. Thus, it'll become increasingly strenuous for you to parent them. I know today this question has become a cliché, but when faced with a dilemma, still ask yourself "what would Jesus do?" And that's where your answer will be patiently waiting for you. Don't be in a haste to raise your hand or your voice. Calm down and think of what approach is most effective. It's not enough to call yourself a Christian parent. Let your Christianity be practical and tangible. Capisce?

To conclude, encouragement to do good is more effective than punishment for doing bad. Now I'm not saying children shouldn't be punished when they ought to, but do what you must with moderation, understanding, and love. Nurture the light in your children, and in time, the darkness that inhabits them will flee into hiding. That's good parenting!

May God grant us understanding.