Change begins with me? Mr. President, what is thaaaaat? I know you need to "change" strategy, but abeg, find one that won't be a slap to the face of the Nigerian populace... Look at the above image - I found that online and that means I'm not the only one amazed by the new motto in town.
But wait o. Change begins with me? Somebody touch my President's head so we can know how bad his fever is. He has forgotten all he said he was going to change, and now wey jungle don mature, he has decided to switch from "Change" to "Change begins with me". Am I the only one who finds this new slogan immensely condescending? I feel patronized. This is just a vivid psychological attempt to shift the responsibility from the government to the people... "Change begins with me." O yes! Isn't it obvious? We all know the society is only a mirror reflection of the persons that constitute it. So, for the locality to change positively, the inhabitants of that community must firstly enact positive changes in themselves as individuals. After all, what is a society in the first place; isn't it the people? So, Mr President, your new and insulting mantra isn't a new thing - it's a goddamn obvious fact. But was that what you meant by "Change" when campaigning? You shouldn't have made those far-fetched promises when soliciting for votes; you should've preached "Change begins with me" and see if you would have even sighted the junction that leads to the Presidential Villa.
Don't insult the Nigerian people. Go and sing your new jingle to all Nigerian politicians. If this change had began with them, this country wouldn't be in the farce it's languishing in at present. You're telling we the Nigerian people that change begins with us, but do we even have a choice... Do we? We have changed our living conditions and standards - not for better o! Toh. We have become grade A managers even though so many of us didn't go to school, not to talk of study Management. Yes, Mr. President we had different ambitions, but now we're fantastic Managers, not by choice, but by force. We didn't know what it meant to be monks, but here we are; aggressively modest and humble - talk about silver lining haha! And this "fancy" new lifestyle became our reality as a result of the "Change" that came with your administration. Therefore, yi hakuri! Don't tell us change begins with us, for it has since began with us - mercilessly, if I may add. And it's rather unfortunate that the "Change" has exempted you, and your fellow politicians from its agonizingly bitter sting; since some people can even travel abroad in private jets to treat common ear infection - no names mentioned o!... Now, make I see d pesin wey go worry my ear with that yeye "change begins with me" yarns.
Anyway before I get lynched, let me reiterate that I know change begins with me. And since I can't speak for all Nigerians, I can at least speak for myself. Thus, as a good citizen, I promise to strive to positively change my society to the best of my ability. Now, what about you Mr. President? Will you promise to do so too? Oops! I forgot... You already did.
I don't mean to sound abrasive, but when I hear of a man like President John Magufuli of Tanzania who leads his people by example by literally doing environmental sanitation with his own hands, and shocking his people back to order, my heart aches for my defunct country. The Tanzanian President is nicknamed "The Bulldozer" because of his instant positive impact and implementation of change. But all I see is my country fallimg more deeply in love with ugly Ms. Recession, and the man who promised me the opposite - sexy economy and all - is now trying to turn me to mumu. Haba! Look at the plush lifestyles our politicians are still living at this time, yet we say the country is broke? Broke to the masses alone I reckon.
See! Mr. President, I'm not trying to teach you your job o. How dare I? Who am I to even dream of such? But here's my suggestion: reduce the gargantuan salaries and allowances of these corrupt politicians. Then use the money to do the following: maintain our streetlights; renovate public schools; create more roads in the FCT in order to eliminate the unnecessary traffic that the people have to endure on a daily basis; make the FCT look like an actual FCT; maintain our hospitals; in short, embark on and finish projects that directly affect the lives of the people, and they'll feel your impact. I mean, if our politicians legally earn billions - not even counting the ones they steal - then we have no excuse to say there's no money because I'm sure if we divert all that money from their wicked pockets to projects for all, Nigerians won't be this mad, and we would be more patient.
Yau'wa! After all is said and done, let the change begin with you too, sir. And you can start by striving to refrain yourself from "borrowing" other peoples' speeches without their consent. Isn't it ironic that the Change Begins With Me speech you presented contained plagiarized lines? Well, don't mind me, sir - what do I know? Thank you... Sir.
Okay, I've said enough. Let me go now before EFCC comes to arrest me for stealing money to subscribe for the data I used to post this particular piece. Una no see me oooo...! *packs bags and runs away*
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